In today’s
society, it is almost impossible to not to hear about some sort of bullying
case. Bullying has become a very widespread problem across the United States,
and it has most definitely had its consequences on the fragile lives of
numerous victims across the country. However, is the word “bullying” being too
widely used? What exactly is considered bullying? Is a certain type of act
considered bullying over another act?. The most recent laws involving
anti-bullying includes at least two different definitions of what bullying is.
This causes much confusion amongst parents, teachers, and society. If it is
unclear what bullying actually is, we cannot move forward to try and ultimately
end bullying for good. Emily Bazelon is a senior
editor at Slate and the author of “Sticks and Stones: Defeating the Culture of
Bullying and Rediscovering the Power of Character and Empathy.” Recently, she wrote
an article entitled “Bully!” that was published in the New York Times. This
article’s main focus addresses the fact that if we don’t have a clear
understanding of what is considered bullying, we cannot try and move forward
and address the problem and ultimately put an end to it.
Bazelon
touches on many very good points throughout her article. Her main focus touches
on that of the definition of bullying and what is actually considered bullying.
In many “bullying” cases today, observers have automatically assumed that
certain instances and cases were a direct result of bullying. For example, in
the Bailey O’Neill case, a 12 year old boy from Pennsylvania, his death was
very widely attributed to bullying based on the allegations that his own class
mate hit the boy in the face which ultimately led to a concussion and seizures
which killed him. However, it is unsure if this “act” can be considered
bullying, and not just a conflict between two boys. The district attorney in
charge of this case has stated that he has no evidence that this tragedy was
because of bullying. As adopted by psychologists, the definition of bullying is
known as physical or verbal abuse that is repeated over a period of time.
Bullying is a very particular form of harmful aggression that can be linked to
very psychological and emotion damage, but in the short and long terms.
Bullying also involves a power imbalance, which means that it’s all about one
person having more social status and hovering it over the person being victimized.
This is done over and over again ultimately making the victim miserable. Since
there are very broad legal definitions of what exactly bullying is, this can
lead parents, teachers, and children to cry bully whenever there is a conflict
between two children. Life is full of conflicts and just because a child many
encounter a conflict between another child, most definitely does not mean that
this particular child is being bullied. Bazelon makes a very good point here.
Due to the fact that we do not necessarily know the exact definition of
bullying, it is very hard to pick through accusations and label a case as a
bullying case. The “bully” label is very hard for a child to escape once they
are labeled as a bully. If we consider every single conflict between two
children an act of bullying, we are getting ourselves nowhere. This label can
permanently damage a child’s reputation and make people think they are
incapable of feeling empathy, which nearly all of us are. In the case involving
Amanda Todd, Todd made a video before she committed suicide. In her video, it
was inidicated that she had some issues with people from school. However, it is
unclear exactly what those issues were. The Amanda Todd case was labeled as a
bullying case based on the single fact Todd had conflicts with people from
school. This doesn’t at all mean that the case involving Todd was from a direct
result of bullying. There is not enough evidence to label her death as a result
of being bullied. The overly broad defintion of bullying leads parents to cry
bully whenever their child had a conflict with another child. This is also the
case for children who tend to play victim.
Sorting through every single
accusation is a serious burden especially when no one really knows what to
consider bullying and what to not consider bullying. Understanding what bullying is and when
bullying is happening is an extremely vital and integreal to the success of
keeping children happy and healthy. A very effective stragedty of doing so is
surverying children and teens themselves. Surveying helps teachers and parents
better understand what bullying exactly is and what their children consider
bullying. By listening to stories about the interpersonal conflicts of actual
children and teens, we can grasp a better understanding of bullying.
Bazelon is correct with what
she has to say. If we keep labeling every single case of a conflict between two
kids an act of bullying, we are really going to be getting no where with our
anti-bullying efforts. Bullying is much more then a fight over the last swing
on the playground. Bullying leaves extreme physcologial wounds on someone and
when actually being done, is a very serious matter. Getting through life means
getting through conflicts with other people. We must start to clearly grasp the
concept of an actual bully and start to notice the signs of bullying. If we
start to do so, we can ultimately start to put an end to it.
