Essay Number 3!!

I have chosen to revise essay number 2, our rhetorical analysis essay. While my first attempt at this essay was not my best, I believe I can turn this essay into a great piece of work. I have grasped the concepts of what a rhetorical analysis is and I better understand what components need to go into my essay. I have looked at what my weaknesses were in this essay and also what my strengths were. I plan to better my weaknesses and turn them into my strengths. 

My first attempt at this essay was more of a summary then an actual rhetorical analysis. I plan to use what we have learned in class and turn my essay into a true rhetorical analysis. I would like to touch on what rhetorical aspects my author uses in her article. My author uses logos, ethos, and pathos so I will touch on how she uses them and how and if they work for her.

I would like to better develop my thesis. I don't think my thesis was very clear in my first attempt at this essay. I would like to think of a good thesis that will steer the way for the rest of my essay and help me prove what I am trying to say. My thesis will also be very specific as well as analytical. 

I would like to come up with better beginning and ending sentences. I hope to develop them in a way which will let my reader know what the following paragraph is going to be about. Then my ending sentence will relate to what the paragraph was about. I would like my sentences to allow my essay to flow as the reader is reading it. I am also planning to organize my body paragraphs better.

In general, I would like to improve my essay as a whole. I want my reader to have something to think about when they are done reading. My essay involves bullying which I believe is a very interesting and current topic. 

Here Bully Bully Bully

In today’s society, it is almost impossible to not to hear about some sort of bullying case. Bullying has become a very widespread problem across the United States, and it has most definitely had its consequences on the fragile lives of numerous victims across the country. However, is the word “bullying” being too widely used? What exactly is considered bullying? Is a certain type of act considered bullying over another act?. The most recent laws involving anti-bullying includes at least two different definitions of what bullying is. This causes much confusion amongst parents, teachers, and society. If it is unclear what bullying actually is, we cannot move forward to try and ultimately end bullying for good. Emily Bazelon is a senior editor at Slate and the author of “Sticks and Stones: Defeating the Culture of Bullying and Rediscovering the Power of Character and Empathy.” Recently, she wrote an article entitled “Bully!” that was published in the New York Times. This article’s main focus addresses the fact that if we don’t have a clear understanding of what is considered bullying, we cannot try and move forward and address the problem and ultimately put an end to it.

            Bazelon touches on many very good points throughout her article. Her main focus touches on that of the definition of bullying and what is actually considered bullying. In many “bullying” cases today, observers have automatically assumed that certain instances and cases were a direct result of bullying. For example, in the Bailey O’Neill case, a 12 year old boy from Pennsylvania, his death was very widely attributed to bullying based on the allegations that his own class mate hit the boy in the face which ultimately led to a concussion and seizures which killed him. However, it is unsure if this “act” can be considered bullying, and not just a conflict between two boys. The district attorney in charge of this case has stated that he has no evidence that this tragedy was because of bullying. As adopted by psychologists, the definition of bullying is known as physical or verbal abuse that is repeated over a period of time. Bullying is a very particular form of harmful aggression that can be linked to very psychological and emotion damage, but in the short and long terms. Bullying also involves a power imbalance, which means that it’s all about one person having more social status and hovering it over the person being victimized. This is done over and over again ultimately making the victim miserable. Since there are very broad legal definitions of what exactly bullying is, this can lead parents, teachers, and children to cry bully whenever there is a conflict between two children. Life is full of conflicts and just because a child many encounter a conflict between another child, most definitely does not mean that this particular child is being bullied. Bazelon makes a very good point here. Due to the fact that we do not necessarily know the exact definition of bullying, it is very hard to pick through accusations and label a case as a bullying case. The “bully” label is very hard for a child to escape once they are labeled as a bully. If we consider every single conflict between two children an act of bullying, we are getting ourselves nowhere. This label can permanently damage a child’s reputation and make people think they are incapable of feeling empathy, which nearly all of us are. In the case involving Amanda Todd, Todd made a video before she committed suicide. In her video, it was inidicated that she had some issues with people from school. However, it is unclear exactly what those issues were. The Amanda Todd case was labeled as a bullying case based on the single fact Todd had conflicts with people from school. This doesn’t at all mean that the case involving Todd was from a direct result of bullying. There is not enough evidence to label her death as a result of being bullied. The overly broad defintion of bullying leads parents to cry bully whenever their child had a conflict with another child. This is also the case for children who tend to play victim.

Sorting through every single accusation is a serious burden especially when no one really knows what to consider bullying and what to not consider bullying.  Understanding what bullying is and when bullying is happening is an extremely vital and integreal to the success of keeping children happy and healthy. A very effective stragedty of doing so is surverying children and teens themselves. Surveying helps teachers and parents better understand what bullying exactly is and what their children consider bullying. By listening to stories about the interpersonal conflicts of actual children and teens, we can grasp a better understanding of bullying.

Bazelon is correct with what she has to say. If we keep labeling every single case of a conflict between two kids an act of bullying, we are really going to be getting no where with our anti-bullying efforts. Bullying is much more then a fight over the last swing on the playground. Bullying leaves extreme physcologial wounds on someone and when actually being done, is a very serious matter. Getting through life means getting through conflicts with other people. We must start to clearly grasp the concept of an actual bully and start to notice the signs of bullying. If we start to do so, we can ultimately start to put an end to it. 

Quick Write: Fallacies

After reading the article "The Dangerous Myth of Grade Inflation" I have conclude that Kohn's argument makes sense and I agree with what he is saying. Kohn states facts that back up his argument that grades have been decreasing throughout the recent years. Having facts and sources to help back up your argument is a really positive tool to help back up your argument. If Kohn took the approach to just start talking about grade inflation blindly and without any facts or supporting evidence, it would be harder for someone like myself to reason with him and see where he is coming from. I would most likely think he was full of it. Kohn also does a great job at using other people's arguments that are against his own to prove that they don't really make much sense and that they don't have any supporting evidence to back up what they are claiming. The following quote "First, it is difficult to argue that a standardized test taken in high school and grades for college course work are measuring the same thing" This is very true. You can't really compare someone's standardized test scores to the grades they are receiving in college. There are so many different factors that affect how someone did on certain tests, such as the SATs. Just because someone may have scored highly on the SATs, doesn't mean that they're going to do well in college. Kohn touches on many of these arguments throughout his article and it becomes clear that he is not guilty of fallacies. 

The New Skinny Can? The New Skinny You!

Whether you’re watching television, browsing the Internet, flipping through magazines, or driving by billboards, it seems like companies are always trying to sell you something. Advertisements are absolutely everywhere. Advertisements tend to target a certain group of people, a certain type of audience. At first glace, it is pretty obvious what a advertisement is trying to sell. However, once you start to take a deeper look at an advertisement, it becomes apparent that advertisements have a deeper meaning and purpose to them. They’re not just trying to sell you a can of Pepsi; they’re probably trying to sell you something more, for example a certain appealing life style. The above advertisement is Pepsi’s new ad for their new skinny Diet Pepsi can design. This advertisement is an advertisement for a Pepsi product. However, when you start to look at the advertisement more, this advertisement is trying to sell the skinny lifestyle. Pepsi goes even further than just being skinny. Pepsi is trying to sell being unhealthy skinny.

The advertisement is a very eye popping advertisement. On the side of the ad, the words “the new skinny can” are displayed. Except, the only real skinny thing about this ad is the model that is also featured. The model is wearing a big blue sun hat, a blue dress, red lipstick, and is also very pale. This corresponds with Pepsi’s traditional red, white, and blue logo. There is also a model pictured in this advertisement. The model has a very sunken in, defined, boney face. She is clearly very thin. There are a number of different ways and a number of different tricks the advertising company can use to get the model to appear this way. First off, the model’s cheeks are very sunken in to give her the defined bone structure look. However, this is a very clever use of shadowing. Unless you’re well on your way to anorexia, nobody’s facial structure should be that clearly visible to the naked eye. The model is also wearing a very oversized sunhat, which I believe the advertising company chose to put on her for a reason. This oversized hat makes her appear even smaller then she already is.  It helps bring out the illusion that she is extremely skinny and tiny. The oversized hat covers a good 75% of her face. The advertising company didn’t even bother to have us see what her face really looks like because her face doesn’t matter. All that really matters is she is a skinny.

If her sunken in face isn’t enough to make you want to shove a cheeseburger down this girl’s throat, the icing on the cake is her toothpick-sized arm.  Her arm is really the first thing you notice when you look at this advertisement. She is wearing a strapless blue number, which really allows you to get a good look at her arm and her extremely bony shoulder. Her arm is absolutely beyond the definition of skinny. Pepsi definitely takes home the prize for Photoshop 101.  If you take into consideration how skinny and bony this model’s arm really is, you could only imagine how the rest of her body must look to be considered proportionate, absolutely sickening. Her arm looks very similar to that of a corpse. The image is absolutely fabricated. It is amazing what a little bit of Photoshop can do to a person.

Advertisements tend to target a specific audience. While anyone can enjoy Diet Pepsi, this advertisement is targeting women. This advertisement is trying to portray being skinny. Women more so then men tend to become obsessive over body image and what society accepts as being beautiful. This advertisement is trying to drill into women and girl’s heads that if you drink Diet Pepsi, you too can look like this model and be beautiful and skinny. This advertisement is trying to twist the concept of what beauty really is. The model is also sipping from a straw, which has always been considered a very classy and feminine act. This advertisement is hoping to grab the attention of someone who may be dealing with his or her weight or trying to get skinny or stay skinny. I believe someone who cares about his or her weight and being skinny will look at this ad and consider drinking Diet Pepsi. Whether they’re trying to lose weight, stay a certain weight, or maybe they have a very serious body image problem, this advertisement is appealing to those earning to be skinny.

At first glance, this advertisement is merely trying to sell a Pepsi product. But when you take the time to look at it and take into consideration all the details about this advertisement, it turns into another “the only beautiful is skinny” advertisement. The world is full of them today. It is very sickening to think that this is what beautiful is now considered. This advertisement is not just selling a Pepsi product. This advertisement is selling a fabricated image of what beautiful really is. It is images like this that cause women and girls to hate themselves and develop serious self-esteem and self-confidence issues. We weren’t born knowing how to hate our bodies, but it is images like this that teach us too. 

Snapshot Statistics

The above image is a USA Today Snapshot. The image shows the top zoos in the USA and the number of annual people who visit these zoos (in millions).

Claim #1: The San Diego Zoo is the best zoo in the USA.

Claim #2: The Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago is the worst zoo in the USA.

Claim #3: Chicago is not a very popular city because they have the lowest annual attendance.

These are three very different claims that people could conclude when they look at this picture and these specific statistics. These claims however, are not necessarily true. These statistics are based off of only 3 zoos in the USA and there is very well more then 3 zoos in the USA. You can see how someone may make these claims though. This exercise shows that statistics can be interpreted in many different ways. Everyone views them differently. 

Facebook Me VS Real Me

I use Facebook daily, like most people do. Your Facebook page represents you. Someone who doesn't know you and wants to know about you, can do so by exploring your Facebook. When you first look at my Facebook, you can see my hometown, the school I attend, what I am studying, and that I am in a relationship with my boyfriend, David. As you browse through my Facebook, you come across my favorite bands, movies, books, television shows, activities, interests and inspirational people. Someone who doesn't know me can see that I have a very diverse taste in music, I like a lot of different movies, my favorite book is The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and that I watch a lot of Cartoon Network. Under my inspirational people, you can find Bettie Page, R2D2, and Hello Kitty. Someone who doesn't know me can conclude that I have a cute sense of humor, I enjoy Star Wars, and that I also am fond of Bettie Page. My activities include singing songs in a british accents, blowing bubbles, and smoking joints with jesus. I think this really shows my humorous side. I post a lot of things on Facebook, most of them being random pictures I find on the internet and pictures of my own that I take. Most of my pictures include cute animals, random pictures I find funny or interesting, pictures of my boyfriend and I, and I also post an unhealthy amount of pictures of my dog, Daisy. I like to post pictures of my dog doing different things, such as being wrapped up in a blanket so she looks like a sushi roll. Many people know I am obsessed with my dog due to the fact I post so many pictures of her. I don't post too many statuses, because I really don't feel that it is necessary to inform the Facebook world of my every move. When I do post statuses, they are usually lyrics of a song that I either really enjoy, or lyrics that express what I am feeling. I also post statuses that express excitement and happiness about certain things or events, such as my Mother buying my tickets for The Governors Ball in NYC which is a big 3 day music festival in June or wishing my boyfriend a Happy Anniversary. I also sometimes post videos I find funny or music videos of my favorite songs. By just looking at my Facebook, I think someone can conclude that I am a quirky, sarcastic, humorous person who enjoys music and going to concerts. I am very fond of my dog, and I am very much in love with my boyfriend David. While you can't completely learn everything there is to know about a person based on their Facebook, you can get a really good idea about what kind of person they are.

Obama's Inaugural Address 2013

After listening to Obama's Inaugural Address, I am very impressed. I am not too big into politics these days and I don't usually listen to political speeches, but I actually did enjoy listening to this speech. Obama without a doubt is an extremely personable and passionate human being. You don't have to necessarily agree with Obama, but one can see that Obama is a very good person and he has views, ethics, and beliefs that I know I myself, and other people can relate to and can respect. Obama knows the right things to say and has this special way of making us, the people of the United States, feel connected with him. He starts his speech off by addressing us as his "fellow citizens" which right off the bat made me feel connected with him. I didn't view him as our superior President, but as a citizen, just like me. 

As a citizen in this country, I want to be able to relate to Obama and I want to be able to feel a connection between him. I want our leader to understand how we the people are feeling when regarding certain things, issues, and events. Obama uses the words "we" and "us" throughout his entire speech and I really think this is a vital part of using ethos successfully. He stresses that we must move forward together as one WHOLE nation "“We made ourselves anew, and vowed to move forward together.” Here Obama is touching on the fact that we as a nation vowed to move forward together, as a whole. We won't be able to become a better America if we all don't work together. Obama knows how to touch the audience and he knows how to bring us all together and make us feel like we are a whole. 

Obama is clearly a very gifted and talented speaker. His voice is one of the strongest speaking voices I have ever heard. You can hear it in his voice and I feel like his voice is one of the strongest voices in this country. There are many ways to use ethos the wrong way, but I believe Obama knows exactly how to use ethos, without a doubt. Obama uses all 3, pathos, logos, and ethos very well in his speeches. I believe ethos is his strong skill. Especially considering that he is President of the United States, he has to be able to use ethos correctly. The definition of ethos is "The characteristic spirit of a culture, era, or community as seen in its beliefs and aspirations". I believe this describes Obama's speech. He truly represents America as a whole. He brings us together as a nation and as a community. He knows what we as America want to see in this country, and I truly was convinced that he truly cares and that he is going to do whatever he can to kick start the US.